The first day of school in our district is a half-day for kids, but a full day for teachers. So, Bill stayed home to be in charge of the chaos while I vacationed at work. That evening, after we managed to get everyone in bed and we collapsed onto the couch, I interviewed my exhausted husband about his experiences that day.
Me: So… what did you think of your day with All Six Kids?
Bill: It was pretty chaotic…
Me: What time did your day start?
Bill: I woke up when your alarm went off at 5:45am. I never sat down again all day.
Me: How did getting the kids ready for school go?
Bill: We had six kids going six different directions. Emily was raring to go, but Brianna and Sam had to be dragged out of bed. I didn’t even try to get the little kids ready. Everyone got their own breakfast and ate cereal, so all I had to do was clean up the disaster area in the kitchen when they were done.
Me: Tell me about driving them to school?
Bill: Sam had to sit in the front because he’s the cool dude and was worried about getting dropped off in front of his friends from the backseat. The girls were excited in the backseat and making all kinds of high-pitched noises. Of course every person that lives in this town was driving to the same place, so there was a traffic jam… Sam jumped out of the car and ran up to the first kid he saw: “Dude! Check out my stitches!” Then we went back in the massive line of traffic and drove the ½ a block to the elementary school. Emily wanted me to drive right up to the front door on the sidewalk. Hannah wanted to be dropped off at the corner and Brianna didn’t really care – she just wanted out of the car! I got out of the car, gave them all a hug and sent them on their way
Me: Then what did you do?
Bill: I took the little kids to McDonald’s because I forgot to feed them breakfast at home. Then we went to the grocery store.
Me: How did the grocery store trip go?
Bill: After dragging the little kids through the aisles and bribing them with treats, I realized I had forgotten my wallet and had to go all the way home again.
Me: You?!?! Forgot something?!?!
Bill: Do you KNOW what’s going on here during the day?!?!
Me: What time did the big kids get home from school?
Bill: They had a half day, so they exploded into the house around 12:15.
Me: How many of them walked in?
Me: Who were the extras?
Bill: One was a friend of the girls that has been here a million times, and the other one I had never met before.
Me: So what did you do about that?
Bill: I fed her lunch…
Me: How was the afternoon?
Bill: Yelling, Screaming, Door-Slamming, Hamsters-down-the-shirts Crazy. I had to get my hair cut and my plan was to leave the little kids with the big kids. But, judging from the complete chaos going on, I decided to take them with me. Then we went back and did the grocery shopping…again.
Me: I noticed we ate dinner around 7:30, rather than your preferred time of 5:00. What happened?
Bill: Are you kidding me? One day at work and you’ve completely forgotten the chaos?
Me: What was the worst part of the day?
Bill: About fifteen minutes after everyone got home and the girls started putting the hamsters down each-other’s shirts and shrieking. Why is that shrieking so high-pitched?!?!
Me: So overall, what was the best part of the day?
Bill: When you got home.
Me: Awww…Did you miss me?
Bill: No, I was drowning in children and I was hoping you had a flotation device.
Me: How many days in a row do you think you can handle this?
Bill: I have to do it again?!?!
Me: Now do you have a better understanding of why I love rum?
Copyright © Jody Hoffman 2011