*Facebook 3/9: Jody Hoffman has a split personality today...Good Mommy says, "my kids are leaving for 10 days and I am going to miss them soooooo much." Tired Mommy says, "I bet on at least one of those 10 days I will be able to go pee when I decide I want to."
*Facebook 3/10 Went from a houseful of 10 to just two in the space of 30 minutes. The quiet is lonelier than I thought it would be.
There were ten people in my house last weekend. You see, we didn’t think eight was enough, so we flew in my parents from Boston. I’m pretty sure they enjoyed themselves, or at least were amused. Mostly they spent their time shaking their heads in bewilderment, shielding their faces from flying food at dinner, racing around all day: often in two separate vehicles, herding everyone into bed at 8:30 and collapsing, exhausted on the couch at 8:31. My mom also had the unique opportunity of taking my children to the dentist while I was at work. I told her that it was because they couldn’t make me an after-school appointment until June, but really it was because you would have to be completely freakin’ insane to take 6 kids to the dentist all at once. My kids all love when Nana and Pop come to visit. There’s something really special about getting the kid-to-adult ratio under 4-to-1…
At the end of their visit, Bill and I packed my Pilot and his pick-up with 10 people, two dogs, one five pound Shitzu-Poodle and one 80 pound Golden Retiever “puppy” and 764 suitcases. We then drove around town emptying the vehicles. We lost two dogs to the vet for grooming, shots and boarding. We delivered three kids to their respective schools and preschools and then, finally, we left three kids, two grandparents and 764 suitcases at the airport.
Then we drove home and stared at each other for about 20 minutes.
The downside of being a blended family is that sometimes our kids go away. The upside is that sometimes they go away…all at the same time. We learned pretty early on that there are two ways to deal with this.
1. Be sad, worry about them and wish they were here. Sit in their rooms and cry.
2. Watch grown-up TV, eat whatever we want (because no one is judging our vegetable intake or modeling their eating habits after ours) and have entire conversations during which each of us finishes sentences and no one bursts into the room bleeding, tattling or throwing up.
This time we chose number 2. Don’t get me wrong, we missed them all (to be honest, not the dogs so much), but choice number 2 is much more fun. When life gives you lemons…trade them in for coconuts and make Pina Coladas.
Over the next few days, our normal hectic routine was drastically changed. We enjoyed each other’s company. We ate and watched and talked about whatever we wanted. We drove to the Black Hills for a few days to really get away from reality. I spent two days kid AND husband free in Boston for my sister’s birthday. Bill slept in and read the Cabella’s magazine from cover to cover, (and also cleaned the entire house because he cares about things like clean floors and folded laundry). We don’t realize how infrequently we do Whatever We Want, until we actually get to do Whatever We Want.
When the clock struck end-of-vacation, we made the reverse rounds in our car (only one this time.) First we collected Brianna, Gabby and Levi. Then we drove to the vet to retrieve our very stinky and excited dogs. Then, with an almost full, very smelly car, we drove to the airport to pick up Sam, Emily and Hannah. Once we had everyone hugged, kissed and buckled, we exchanged looks (because we couldn’t exchange words – who could hear anything in this zoo-on-wheels?), shook our heads in bewilderment, and rejoined our real world. Happily.
Hopefully my parents will come back in September because that’s when I scheduled the next dentist appointment.
*Facebook 3/21 I know I talk a lot about how crazy it is to have everybody here...But after a few days with no kids and no dogs - a carful of 6 kids and 2 dogs on the way home from the airport today feels just like heaven. Really, really loud heaven.
© Jody Hoffman 2011
You are funny! I am your newest follower. Check out my blog: diaperderby.blogspot.com
Posted by: Jennifer C. | 04/12/2011 at 09:58 PM
LOL! I love parents :)
I'm following.
ecwrites.blogspot.com
Posted by: Elisa | 04/12/2011 at 06:58 PM
New follower from BloggyMoms - hope you'll come by and say hello! :) TheCaffeineCoquette dot com
Posted by: Kenda Smith | 04/12/2011 at 04:25 PM
Really made me laugh. Can't blame you a bit for your views. Look forward to future posts!
Clayton
http://www.claytonpaulthomas.com
Posted by: Clayton Thomas | 04/12/2011 at 11:33 AM
Dear Jody,
LMAO really an apt description! You are very talented. You should stop by and read the Mama Bird Diaries - I think you guys have some things in common.
http://www.mamabirddiaries.com/
Posted by: Traci | 04/11/2011 at 09:53 PM
Found you on bloggy moms. Hilarious. Although I can only imagine the craziness of all those kids...my two boys though do give me a run for my money! Visit me anytime! www.stinkerpinker.com OR I run a shop for my Scentsy biz at www.thesweetscentshop.com :-) I send free samples and catalogs! ~Kimberly
Posted by: Kimberly | 04/11/2011 at 07:58 PM
Great piece and great blog. So glad I found you on Bloggy Moms! Glad you got a few moments with your husband, I just got to experince a whole converstion with mine about a month ago and it is so nice to remember that I really like the guy I married! I look foward to reading more from you!
Kathy
Posted by: Kathy | 04/11/2011 at 06:51 AM
And I thought my life was hectic with just one! p.s. vacation for my little one comes with the same mixed feelings. It's such a happy/sad occasion!
Posted by: Kandace | 04/10/2011 at 06:17 PM
I am so impressed by your wonderful writing and brilliant wit! I just sat Arlen down to read him some of these and he enjoyed them as much as I did...definitely a book in the making!!!
xoxo
JANE
Posted by: Jane Gelbard | 04/09/2011 at 07:46 PM
laughing out loud
Posted by: Pat | 04/09/2011 at 09:16 AM