Dear Strep Throat,

*Facebook 3/26/11 - We have Strep throat again! Ta freakin-dah.

Dear Strep Throat,

I have 6 children. My husband and I each have full time jobs. I run the Girl Scout troop, drive carpools and attend somewhere between 4 and 27 sporting events each week. Why, oh why do you hate us? We have all had you at least 2 times this year and our turn is officially over. Pick on someone else!

Below, please read my reasons and explanation for why you must cease and desist your constant infection of our family.

1. I have a job where they kind of need me to show up.

The Substitute Lesson Plan file is getting too large for my computer’s hard drive. The other day, at the beginning of my first class, a student remarked, “Oh! We get YOU today?” Yes…this is my classroom, remember? The school secretary starts calling subs as soon as I walk into her office, before I even have to tell her what’s going on. I keep telling everyone that my kids never used to be sick all the time, but I think they stopped believing me about four sick days ago…

2. If my child understands what to do after receiving a note from the secretary that says, “Activate Sick Child After School Plan,” then this has happened too often.

Thank goodness for good friends! Because, of course, the “Sick Child After School Plan” involves the children walking to my friend’s classroom with her daughter so that she can drive them all home. Come on Strep Throat, does every family have to have a plan like this? Give us a break! (Just don’t give it to my friend’s kids - then we’d all be hosed! Oh! And stay away from that school secretary…I NEED her.)

3. It’s not like I actually get to use my time at home for good.

You’d think with all these “days off” with some sick child or another laying on the couch, I’d be able to get a lot done, right? Wrong. Strep Throat, you won’t even cut me a break in THAT department! How is it possible that there is THIS much to do everyday? If I usually am able to leave the house for 6-8 hours a day, why is it that an unforeseen 6-8 hours at home is already full of dishes, laundry and errands?

*Facebook 3/21/11 - Stayed home from work today. Have been running at full speed since 7am and there is still more to do! Does the amount of stuff to do multiply because it knows I'm home? What if I had gone to work too!?!?

4. We’ve reached our insurance deductibles for the year and it is only April.

If we had saved everything we’ve spent on doctor’s bills and pharmaceuticals, we could have taken all six kids to Disneyland instead. And that’s not even including the chicken-soup-and-popsicles budget. Please, Strep Throat, take pity on these poor Mickey-Mouse-deprived children.

If, after reading these reasons, you still feel that you must continue to inflict us with your gross red tonsils, white bumps and fever of 101, (yeah, I’ve got your number - I know how you roll) could you AT LEAST try to get us all at the same time? I’m running out of gas.

*Facebook 4/20/11 - Timeline of my day (so far) 8:45am: Hannah's follow up appointment for yesterday's shenanigans related to strep and an infection in her finger. 9:30: Hannah's cleared but they send me for a strep test ‘cause I don't look so good. 10:00 headed home alone after a positive strep test and taking Hannah back to school. 10:05: Hello Mrs. Hoffman? Emily's not feeling well - please pick her up. 10:15 back to the Dr. The school secretary suggested that I just go home and cry, but I’m gonna opt for Rum.

Love,

Jody

P.S. Could someone please take my temperature? My throat feels a little sore.

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Really love the way you tell a story. And having as many kids as I do myself, I know what's it's like when strep goes around our house like a ping pong ball. I'll be back to read more. Hope you'll check my new blog out too. Have a great Mother's Day!

Posted by: Kaela Cyleste Berry-Generally | 05/07/2011 at 06:44 PM