*Facebook 8/10/10 - How is it possible that I ran the dishwasher 3 times today and the washing machine 5 times today and there are STILL dishes in my sink and clothes in the hamper????? (and no, it isn't because I didn't do the same exact thing yesterday...or the day before...or the day before that...)
*Facebook 8/11/10 - I've decided to stop yelling at the kids when they mess around with the dishes - the broken ones don't have to be washed!
Wanted: Housekeeper For Home with 6 Kids, 2 Dogs and 2 Adults-too-busy-pulling-their-hair-out-to-do-the-windows:
Must be patient, friendly, flexible and have a sense of humor. Willingness to accept that noon-is-5-o’clock-somewhere: a plus
Job Description
1. Run Dishwasher three times a day.
2. Do approximately three loads of wash a day. Every Day. Our washer has never seen anything smaller than a super-plus sized load.
Before doing this, it will be necessary to collect all of the laundry from around the house. Apparently, only the three-year-old is able to hit the laundry basket with his dirty clothes. You may want to look under couch cushions, on the floor of the car and under the dining room table for socks
After doing the laundry, you will need to fold it. The only surface large enough on which to do this is my bed. You will need to make the bed too. If you’re wondering why I don’t make it myself, read this: How to Be Me on a School Day Morning
Sorting the laundry will be interesting. Eight piles will be necessary. Bill’s and mine should be pretty obvious. Brianna and Sam wear the same size, so guess based on sexist methods and be prepared for the consequences of any mistakes. Hannah and Emily wear the same size and buy all of the same clothes, but color will help you. Emily refuses to wear pink at any time and Hannah will wear nothing else. Gabby and Levi are pretty easy: Same size, trucks goes to him, sparkles go to her. Socks are the only easy part: Each kid gets one color socks - Emily: Purple, Hannah: Pink, Sam: Black, Brianna: Blue, Gabby: White, Levi: Gray. And we don’t really care if they match your outfit or not.
You will probably need to make several trips into the children’s rooms to put the laundry away, as the piles will be too large to carry all at once. There once was an organizational system to all of their dressers and closets, but now as long as it isn’t on the floor, we’re happy.
If the washing machine breaks down, try not to gloat.
*Facebook 9/27/10 - the washing machine is broken. I'm working on my sad face but really, secretly, here's how I feel: HA HA HA! No more laundry! Let's see how many outfits those kids REALLY have!!! Shh. Don't tell.
3. Pick up
You will find bicycle helmets in the refrigerator, school bags in the garage and stuffed animals in the middle of the backyard. Locate items and return to their original locations. Turn your back for one minute so the kids can take everything out again. Repeat first step.
4. If you have time, vacuum, sweep, mop, wash windows and dust. But to be honest, we never get to stand still long enough to notice or appreciate any of that stuff. In fact, we probably wouldn’t notice dishes or wash not being done either, unless we ran out of spoons…or underwear.
Apply at… Nevermind. Who am I kidding? Anyone willing to respond to this ad must be insane. We’ve already met our crazy-quota around here.
* Facebook 7/9/10 - Today I found the tile on my laundry room floor. Who knew?!
I'm available, and meet most all of the criteria, especially the crazy part! With Christopher going to school full day next fall, I will need to get a job to keep sane. Now, if only I were closer...sigh...well I guess we can't have everything!
Posted by: Marthamormon | 05/23/2011 at 11:11 AM
That sounds like most of my days! Following you from bloggy moms, look forward to your future posts! You can find me at
http://wvfrugal-wvsaver.blogspot.com/
Posted by: Frugal in WV | 05/18/2011 at 07:50 AM
Only three loads a day? i would have guessed more!
Posted by: Pat | 05/18/2011 at 06:44 AM