Disclaimer
*Facebook 4/28/2011 - I have noticed that on almost every other Mom Blog, the writer is also a wonderful chef and shares her favorite recipes and helpful family-feeding ideas. I applaud the efforts of these Mom Bloggers. I read them and look at the healthy, pretty dishes they have created. I think, though, that you should know something really important.
This will never happen on my blog.
So, if you're waiting for me to share my culinary expertise with you, stop holding your breath.
Now, you must excuse me, I have to go order the pizza.
At 5:00 every day, Bill calls home to let me know he’s on his way. There are two things we know will be said during this phone conversation:
1. “Happy Six O’clock!” Much to the confusion of anyone sitting in my kitchen when he calls at 5:00, this is what we have said to each other at the end of the workday every day for the last two years. When I lived in Boston, his 5:00 end-of-the-workday was actually my 6:00, and a silly tradition ensued…
2. “Please pick up a gallon of milk. We’re out…again.”
Perhaps, we just need a cow. And while we’re at it, some chickens would help with the fact that we go through a dozen eggs in one breakfast…
In addition to the sheer volume of food that must be prepared for each meal, we also must consider the extraordinarily specific likes, dislikes, allergies and fussiness of each of the six children involved:
-Emily and Hannah will eat any vegetable except peas.
-Brianna will only eat peas.
-Sam refuses to eat anything that includes foods touching each other and, until we moved here, subsisted on only Peanut Butter +Jelly sandwiches.
-Levi loves casseroles and is allergic to peanuts.
-Gabriella likes to play with food that is mushy, but refuses to eat anything with any sort of weird texture. She wears more food than she eats and dunks everything in ketchup (which stains).
Add to these issues the fact that Bill and I both work all day and…well, it’s no wonder we eat pizza so often: It doesn’t require milk or eggs, is peanut free and doesn’t include peas. The tomato sauce on it both counts as a vegetable, AND is considered (by Gabby) to be the same as ketchup. Sam allows bread, cheese and sauce to touch, and they deliver. No brainer. “Hello, Pizza Guy? Yeah, I’ll have the usual.” By the way, I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that pizza has exactly 8 slices…
I have a friend who lives in California with four children and a dog. She makes homemade, organic meals for her children three times a day. She grows organic produce in her backyard. She does not have the pizza guy’s phone number on speed dial. She makes her own yogurt. And her children eat it. Even though it’s mushy. I adore her. I admire her. I respect her. I have no freakin’ clue how she pulls this off.
Part of the reason we have so much trouble is that my dinner repertoire is slightly smaller than Wolfgang Puck’s. I can pull off about 3 different meals without burning the house down, but at some point you have to change it up a bit… I try new things, with varied success:
*Facebook 8/26/10 - Tonight my cookie experiment turned out a little, well, crispy. Brianna: "this cookie was fun to chew...at first."
*Facebook 1/20/11 - I am hereby admitting that my mother is right. It is not possible to raise six kids without the crock-pot. Everyone please send recipes ASAP before we eat pizza again.
*Facebook 1/23/11 – Pizza for dinner again! I guess “Turn on the Crock Pot” was an important direction after all…
*Facebook 3/15 Adventures in Child raising: tonight I'm calling dinner "The Salad Game" and have decided that positive advertising along with the make-it-yourself factor will trick them into eating something green. Also, I have decided that if Levi wants to put hotdogs in his salad, that he may adjust the rules of "salad game" accordingly...and marshmallows. Whatever, there's lettuce too.
Salad bar, or: how we're fooling our kids into eating veggies today.
Salad Face-It took a little more bribery than we originally anticipated.
Recently I bought the Philadelphia Cream Cheese Cookbook. Every single recipe has cream cheese as a main ingredient. Since this happens to be one of the only foods everyone agrees on, I thought this was brilliant! Also, most of the recipe names start with the word “Easy.” (Read: probably won’t burn the house down.) I’ve been keeping notes on the pages of the recipes we try:
-Easy Savory Parmesan Bites: Cream cheese? Good. Parmesan? Good. Crescent Rolls? GOOOOOD.
-Enchiladas: Yum! Everyone ate it. Even though food touched. Even though it has vegetables.
-Easy Sheppard’s Pie: Everyone loved this and it was really easy, because my friend made it while I was having a panic attack about having to attend 35 soccer games in one month.
-Creamy Crab and Red Pepper Spread: Bill loves it. No one else will try it. Side note: does not stay good long enough for Bill to finish all the leftovers by himself. Yuck.
-Easy Bacon and Pea Risotto: Yummy. Only Levi notices the difference between regular bacon and the turkey bacon I used today. Note to self: It is really important to cook the rice ALL THE WAY. Risotto is not supposed to be chewy. Also, do not give the Emily and Hannah straws in their milk on a pea-dinner day.
-Salsa Roll-Ups: Maybe we’re getting a little sick of cream cheese
-Chicken Parmesan Bundles: This is fun, but I think it’s time for a new cookbook. Is there one that has pizza as the main ingredient for every dish?
I know that some other moms will judge me for not cooking healthy, perfect meals everyday. I also know that some moms manage to balance being a loving wife and mom, working AND cooking. But for now, I will concentrate on what I think is the most important part of dinner: No matter what else is going on, no matter how many soccer games, school projects or play dates, regardless of whether or not we ran out of milk, my family sits down at the table together Every Single Night, usually at 5:00 (6:00est). Even if it is around a pizza.
© Jody Hoffman 2011
Once again, you ROCK!!! I LOL'd several times! Remember, hon, there is at least ONE mom who will never judge you, as we have to have Chicken strips/nuggets at LEAST 3 times a week, AND I stay at home! Love ya! Miss ya!
Posted by: Marthamormon | 05/06/2011 at 12:14 PM
:) I like this one
Posted by: Sam | 05/05/2011 at 04:53 PM
Visiting from the blog directory Char's blog. I absolutely love those salads. Looks fun and yummy.
Posted by: Laura | 05/04/2011 at 10:36 PM
I think staying home with kids while 39 weeks pregnant is definitely harder than going to work! I hereby grant you permission to eat pizza EVERY night! Thanks for the back-up!
Posted by: Jody Hoffman | 05/04/2011 at 06:20 PM
umm, whoever judges you probaly doesn't know how hard is to be a working mom or a mom for that matter, I used to work I stay home now and its still hard to get the hang of it sometimes, plan meals, get kids to eat ur experiments lol.. oh and I'm 39 weeks pregnant and for the past 2 months we have ordered pizza at least once a week :/
Posted by: Elizabeth Resendez | 05/04/2011 at 05:23 PM