Last weekend, I bought a new purse on the streets of New York City. Don’t get too excited, I’ve done it about 3,927 times before. I used to buy a New York City purse every season. My sister and I have always loved scouring the town for the best new thing, haggling over the price with scary looking guys and then paying whatever they wanted because we love it (and they’re scary). Then we proudly carried the new purse of the season that no one else had… until it started showing up everywhere – even on the racks at Payless.
Since I moved to South Dakota, my trips to NYC to visit my sister have become significantly less frequent, so shopping for a new purse with her this time was even more fun. We looked in four different places before we found it: Turquoise leather, round patches all over it, wooden-beaded handle. Gorgeous. And huge. And we didn’t even have to whine to get the price down to $15!
When I returned to her apartment, I started on one of my favorite tasks: switching all my stuff from the old purse to the new purse. I removed my wallet, my sunglasses, a few packs of gum, a Hot Wheels Corvette, a nail file…Wait, What?! Why is there a small silver sports car in my purse?
Because I’m a mom. And I have a Mom-Purse.
You’ve seen What’s in My Purse on Youtube, right?
This one is my favorite (by the fabulously talented Tara Perry):
Here’s what I found in mine:
-3 glow-in-the-dark bracelets (2 still glowing, one leaking)
-1 pillbox containing 4 Advil and 2 chewable children’s Tylenol
-12 bandaids
-1 folding brush
-14 coupons (more than half expired)
-the Barnes and Noble Gift card I lost last year
-1 sewing kit from the Boston Harbor Hotel
-my Flip Video
-my husband’s digital camera (wonder if he’s still looking for that…?)
-4 chapsticks, 3 sparkly and fruit flavored
-17 hair ties
-1 cocktail umbrella
-A ziploc bag filled with Polly Pockets
-movie tickets from Bridesmaids and Something Borrowed
-4(!) tubes of Bath and Body Works Shea Cashmere hand lotion (guess I was worried I would run out? Maybe this purse IS too big.)
-2 bottles of Purel
-6 pens, only 1 of which worked, and wrote in purple ink
-1 copy of my marriage license (Why?)
-3 juice box straws, no juice boxes
-1 notebook meant for ideas, actually filled with 4-year-old doodles
-my ipod, no headphones
-sunscreen wipes
-insect repellent wipes
-anti-bacterial wipes
-baby butt wipes
As I neared the bottom of my now-dismissed Mom-Purse, I started wondering if I REALLY needed every single item in that bag. I considered removing some of them, or at least not relocating them to the new bag. I worried, though, that the item I removed would be the one most needed as soon as I ended up somewhere without it! Just to be safe, I put everything back in and vowed to start going through it as soon as I got home. (I did leave out 2 of the hand lotions…)
The next night, we went out to dinner with my grandparents. After dessert, my grandmother’s beautiful beaded necklace broke. Beads rolled all over the tablecloth. The kids scrambled to collect them from under plates, around glasses and off the floor. Holding handfuls of beads, my grandmother and children looked to me for a solution. What will we do with these beads?
I reached in my mom purse and pulled out the Ziploc bag.
My grandmother stared in disbelief. “Oh, that’s not all that’s in there,” I said. “I probably could make you a sandwich if you needed one.”
Or sew your button back on…
Or supply you with a show-and-tell item...
Or sunscreen your whole soccer team (or bug spray them, depending on the weather)…
Or decorate your pina colada…
© Jody Hoffman 2011
What’s in your Mom Purse? Comment with your contents, or better yet-email me a picture of your MOM-PURSE and contents at [email protected] , and I will post your photos!
Your post made me laugh out loud!!! I think we could switch pocketbooks and not even realize the difference! It's funny, I'm from Mansfield, MA and my husband and I both grew up in Sharon. However, my husband was born in South Dakota - funny, funny! Thanks for posting my Twin*tastic button, I grabbed yours as well. Your site is so funny, I'll definitely keep reading!
Posted by: Kim | 06/20/2011 at 06:08 PM
Following from Bloggy Moms: http://sairforcespouse.com/
My purse contents are:
Burberry Wallet
Notepad
Gate remote
Car keys
Tampon/pad
Tums
Round medicine case
Sinus medicine
2 pens
Watch (that I take on and off)
MAC compact
2 lipsticks
Hair tie
Pepper Spray
Extra Dessert Delights Sugarfree gum in Mint Chocolate Chip
Posted by: Seasoned Air Force Spouse/ @milliferocks | 06/18/2011 at 08:48 PM
Jeez, this reminds me I need to clean out purse and diaper bag! Scared to look!
New follower from Bloggy Moms.
Follow me back please at www.insightfulmommy.com and twitter @insightfulmommy
Posted by: Christine | 06/18/2011 at 01:42 PM
lol! love it. I once won a contest at a movie showing for having crayons in my purse....the guy thought he was being cheeky...but alas...I stood tall and proud holding out my crayons!
Following you now...yippiemomma.blogspot.com
Posted by: cat | 06/18/2011 at 11:27 AM