Tomorrow is our 1st anniversary - Man, have we come a long way in a year! I wrote this as the school year was coming to a close. We were having a lot of trouble finding a moment alone – you know, because we have six kids and two dogs?!?! Now we’re more than halfway through the summer. My kids are still at their dad’s house and Bill’s kids at their mom’s every other week. We have more “alone time” than we know what to do with! I can’t wait to get back to the craziness of having everyone here all the time, even if it means we can never go on a date!
*Facebook MAY - Due to a long and complicated list of unforeseen circumstances, "Date Night" just turned into eating curly fries in the car with the heat on, watching a baseball game from the parking lot by the outfield. That's how we roll. P.S. One of the circumstances is snow.
Before I moved to South Dakota, Bill and I lived 2,000 miles apart. We had fabulous dates. Every month we found weekends when all six of our children would be with their other parents and we would meet up somewhere fabulous - a 5 star hotel in Palm Springs, a cozy bed and breakfast in the Berkshires, an exciting stay at Mohegan Sun, or just his house or my house…with no kids. Our visits were wonderful. They were work-, stress- and child-free. We had no mortgage or bills to discuss. We didn’t need a babysitter. We didn’t have to wake up to take the dogs out. There was no dishwasher to load, no laundry to fold. We had no responsibilities. (As I’m writing this, I’m wondering why we ever changed this plan?!?!)
First Date: Connecticut
Santa Monica - First summer together
First Christmas Together: Kid-free in the Berkshires
Now that Bill and I live in the same house (with 6 children and two dogs), our dates are…different. First of all, they are dependent on sporting event schedules, babysitter availability, weather, finances, children’s health, and whether or not there is anything to do that night in South Dakota. Second, they are always, and I mean ALWAYS subject to change without notice. We have probably canceled more dates than we have actually attended.
This spring, we had two plus-sized-family specific date night disasters. It all began at the beginning of the month. I have a family calendar on which I place stickers for different events. I thought that soccer, baseball, swimming and Girl Scouts stickers would look less overwhelming on the big calendar than writing out each event. I was wrong. Our calendar looks like a scrapbooking store exploded on it, and we can’t figure out what any of it means. The one thing it IS good for, though, is singling out free days. When we looked at the May calendar, we realized that there were two days that held ZERO other events. I quickly colored them in to protect them and placed a “Date Night” sticker in the middle. Then we started looking for places to send our children.
The first night was shaping up nicely. Emily and Hannah had an evening playdate and Sam was planning to go roller-skating with his buddies. Gabby, Brianna and Levi would be at their mom’s house. That would give us enough time to go out to dinner AND a movie! We picked a restaurant (from the few available options in our town that aren’t fast food) and a movie. We counted down the days.
Two days before our first scheduled date night, Sam had a baseball game that was snowed out. In May. We live in South Dakota. They rescheduled the game for…Date Night!
We rolled with it.
We dropped Sam off 30 minutes before the game so he could “warm up” and figure out how to play baseball with 4 layers of extra clothing underneath his uniform. Then we went to the Arby’s drive-through. We took our curly fries, burgers and milkshakes over to the ball field. There we discovered that our luck had finally kicked in! Sam’s game was ready to begin on the field next to the parking lot. We parked in left field and turned up the heat. We munched and chatted and kept an eye out for long fly-balls. We cheered Sam on with flashing headlights and horn-honking. We went home and watched a movie On-Demand. We decided it still counted as a Date.
Over the course of the next few weeks, our children were repeatedly invited to friends’ houses for sleepovers. We held our breath as one by one, they each scheduled an overnight playdate for the same day – Saturday of Memorial Day weekend. It seemed too good to be true, so we tried not to talk about it, or look directly at the large empty square on our family calendar marked MAY 28.
The morning of the-day-we-would-not-speak-of was a normal morning – chaotic, but normal. We packed up each child for their evening plans and one-by-one we sent them away, until we only had one left. Sam was supposed to be attending an evening party/sleepover beginning at 5pm. At 4pm we got the call.
The boy’s parents were busy so the party wouldn’t start until 8. (Okay. We can work with that. Push back the movie, go to dinner first, stay up late but that’s okay because we can sleep in tomorrow…)
“Mom! The pick up time for tonight is 11:30. Okay?”
What? ! Pick up time?! It was supposed to be a sleepover! NOOOOO! Date Night isn’t dead, but it’s been critically wounded.
*Facebook 5/28/11 - All the kids had sleep-over plans for tonight, but one fell through. So, instead of a kid-free 12 hours, we have a kid-free 210 minutes. Anybody got any fast Date Night ideas? Alternatively, anybody want a 12 year old?
Once again we rolled with it. We ate dinner with Sam, dropped him off and then went to the late showing of the movie. We didn’t even hold it against him.
We often miss those nice responsibility-free weekends away, but in the end, we know why we chose this: We want to be together every day. Even if every day is filled with noise, chaos, and surprises. Actually, it is BECAUSE every day is filled with noise, chaos and surprises. Oh, and because we are completely-freaking insane.
Copyright © Jody Hoffman 2011
Hello! Discovered your site through top mother weblogs...while looking around for mothers that had shifted far from home. We have problems planning our time frame evening with our 1 kid. I can't think about 6! Thanks to you! Love the brady lot "about" web page. Lovely.
Posted by: Trucking Factoring Companies | 04/02/2012 at 09:38 AM
Hello! Found your blog through top mommy blogs...while looking around for moms that had moved far from home. We have trouble arranging our date night with our 1 child. I can't imagine 6! Kudos to you! Love the brady bunch "about" page. Adorable.
Posted by: Sarah | 08/01/2011 at 12:35 AM