What's in a Name?

I am a mother, a step-mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a granddaughter, a niece, a cousin, a daughter-in-law, a sister-in-law, a teacher, a writer, a friend and a basketcase. My children are at their dad’s house.  My step-children are at their mom’s house.  My husband is working with his dad in another state, and I am home alone thinking how quiet it is when nobody is yelling to me!  Aside from cleaning obsessively and playing Words With Friends until my fingers hurt, I’ve also been watching a lot of television.  In fact, I had such a TLC, Bravo and Food Network overdose that I’m thinking of inventing a new TV show that involves triplet toddlers throwing cupcakes at brides. 

 

I need everybody to come home.

 

Until then, I’ve been compiling a list of names I’m called on a regular basis.  For the sake of keeping this blog family-friendly, I will exclude the names that other drivers call me when I cut them off.

 

Jody:  This is the name my parents picked for me a week before I was born.  I was almost Laura.  Jody sounds better in the banana-fana song though:  Jody Jody Bo Body, Banana-fana fo Fody… You get the idea.

 

Dody:  The name Levi calls me because he can’t pronounce J’s.  He also pronounces F’s like S’s with a lisp, so when those other drivers give me the finger, we call them Derksaces. 

 

Joey:  This is the name Gabby calls me.  She is perfectly capable of pronouncing the D, and will tell you that my real name is Jody.  She uses Joey like some people use titles.  You know, I have a mom, a dad, and a Joey.  Unfortunately for me, when she uses that name I am rendered powerless against anything she asks of me.  It is that cute. 

 

Jode:  This shortened version of my name is only used by a few people. I don’t think it sounds particularly flattering, but I’ll answer to it as long as it is at the beginning of the following sentence:  “Jode, would you like a Pina Colada?”

 

Fairy Step-Mother:  This name was only used once, but I have held on to that memory.  Brianna wanted something that no one else could pull off but me.  I did it and was rewarded with a smile, a hug and a thank you that had no “step” about it.

 

 

Big Jo: My great grandmother was Julia.  She was the most amazing human being I’ve ever known and dearly loved in our family. She lived to be 100 years old and all three of my children knew her.  Sam even remembers!  In the Jewish religion, we do not name our children after living relatives.  Still, it is interesting to note that my cousin, Joelle and I both have “J” names and parents who were particularly enamored with Grandma Julia.  Joelle is several years younger than I am, so she was always Little Jo, and I was Big Jo.

 

Jodily Odily:  A silly name my father used when I was little.  It seems harmless enough…Except that in our huge extended family we have a card game that we love to play called Eights.  Each member has an “Eights Name” that is used both during the game as well as anytime anyone wants to embarrass you.  Guess what my Eights Name is?  I’ll give you a hint, it rhymes with Nodily.

 

Snooky Head:  From my mother. Thanks, Mom.  I’m not really sure of the spelling, but if I asked her, she’d just make it up anyway.

 

DeeJo:  A nickname created by a toddler I used to babysit for who had a small speech problem…and carried on by my 30 year old sister, to this day.

 

Jody Pody:  What my grandfather says every single time I call his house.  To this day.  “Hi Grampy, it’s Jody,”  “Jooody Pooody!”  I love it.

 

Mrs. Hoffman: Used only by my students and telemarketers.  Both have me occasionally looking for my mother-in-law.

 

The Cookie Lady:  During the month of March I lived and breathed (and ate) Girl Scout Cookies for the sale.  As the leader, it was my job to pick them up, count them, eat them, deliver them, exchange them, eat them and basically fill my entire house with them.  One of the Girl Scouts had a little brother who now calls me the Cookie Lady.  Even now – four months after the end of cookie sale.

 

Babycakes:  Because Jodily Odily and Schnookie Head were just not embarrassing enough. I have no idea where this name came from, but Bill uses it on a regular basis.  Once in front of my boss.  I do like cake…

 

Mommy:  The best name ever.  Used less and less frequently now that my kiddos are nine and twelve, but still pulled out anytime they want something…  I’ll admit it.  It works. 

 

Mom:  A name I answer to at least 100,000 times a day.  Except this week.  This week I’ve been answering to Mom when other random children say it at the mall or the grocery store.  I don’t do it on purpose, but it does create some awkward situations.

 

Mo-om: Used in times of distress as in: “Mo-om, all the OTHER kids are doing it.” Or “Mo-om, you are so embarrassing.”

 

Ma: Used in front of friends in order to appear cool, as in: “Ma, we need more food down here.  Yo.”  This form is not usually met with a willingness to grant whatever demand they are making.

 

This week I haven’t been called much of anything except “That lady buying wine again.”  Next week, when the kids and Bill are all home again and there is complete chaos in my house, would somebody please remind me of how horribly quiet it was when they were all gone?  And for goodness sake, would somebody please turn off my freakin’ tv?

 

Copyright © Jody Hoffman 2011

 

Comments

[A Facebook User]

I would give more then a "small" body part for quite alone time, I would be willing sacrifice any body part, a leg, arm, ear, pancreas, anything. LOL!!! Your blogs are AMAZING and i am totally glad i found them, you encourage me and make me laugh. I found you though mommy blogs.

[Emily O.]

Ok, I have a confession to make,since we are naming names. My dad made up an affectionate name for you when we hung out as tweens. ;-) Em

[Angela Weight]

"The Lady Buying Wine Again!!!" That's hilarious! I think I've been called that at Kroger, Sam's and Publix. I love your blog. Check out mine at goodhusbanding.com

[carol anne]

I have chosen you for The Versatile Blogger Award!
Thanks for always providing something great to read :D
Carol Anne at La Familia Aissa
Please stop by my blog and see the details ~
http://aissafamily.blogspot.com/2011/08/versatile-blogger.html

[Christina]

OMG! I LOVE this! Classic :) And I so totally understand your need to create a new reality TV show. Since I've been sick, I've watched so much TV. For a while there, HGTV and TLC were favorites and I was going to redo every room in the house, and the yard, and the pool. Then, I became obsessed with food shows, but I put on 16 pounds and those had to go. Now, it's Real Housewives lol!

Enjoy your quiet. There are some of us who would give small body parts in exchange for an empty house!!

[Gleamgal]

I love the list of names... what really cracked me up was the new tv show concept!!

[MsAngelStarr]

Ha I loved this post, I don't have nearly as many names (yet!) I'm more of a name-giver!
Thanks for coming by my blog today!
Angela @ First Comes Baby...

[tanya]

Hi! Following you from a blog hop!:0)
Hope you visit me and return the follow!

[Camille]

It's funny how they do that in Judaism! I have always wondered why but my grandma won't explain it.

[Katherine]

I love your blog!! What's in a name.........all of your are wonderful. My whole life people insisted on shortening my name from Katherine to Kathy. I never liked being called Kathy. Hated it actually. But they insisted and throughout my life I would correct people and say Katherine. But to no avail. After a while I just folded. Until I was in my senior year of high school. When I made a point of having people refer to me by my given name Katherine. In my twenties people started calling me Katie. I don't mind it so much because I hear both. In addition I also hear Gram-ahh , Grammy, Mom, Grandma Katherine, Sweetie, Honey, Babe and Beautiful. So all is well with my name. Giggle. I love all of your names but I too am fond of Fairy Step Mother, I'm sure there is a happy memory attached to that one. Big Hugs!

[Michele]

Thanks so much for stopping by today, I am already a follower, although I will admit I don't make the rounds like I used to, summer has been sooooo busy. I LOVED this post, it made me laugh. Its amazing how many names we all respond to, I am going to have to sit down and think of all mine, thanks for the great post Blogger Jody! ;)

[Holly]

Thanks so much for stopping by and following during the Tuesday Hop! I'm following back! :)

[Elana]

"Lady buying wine again" is not a way to be known--at least for a week. Thanks for checking out my blog. Returning the follow now. I look forward to reading more.

[Chavonne]

Thanks for following my blog, I'm a new follower as well :)

[Grandma Bonnie]

Thanks for following. I am following back. That is such a nice post. That is quite a list.
Have a nice week.

[Melanie]

Thanks for the follow :-) I am here to get you back :-D Great post! got me thinking about all of the names i have.

[Fifi]

This post has me really thinking of every name I'm called!! lol!! I ♥ it!!

Thank you for the follow, now I'm your newest follower and I look forward to reading more of your posts!

[Sarah]

I love this post! Joey is especially cute. I wonder how many names I could come up with if I thought about what everyone calls me. New GFC follower returning your visit from the Tuesday hop.

[Lisa Weidknecht]

I'll call you friend! Following back from Planet Weidknecht!

[Stephanie]

What a fun post! You've made me start to think of all of my different names. :)

I also wanted to thank you for the follow and let you know that I am following you back! I look forward to reading/hearing more from you! :)

[Stephanie]

Thanks for the follow! Following you back :)

[Judy Mellor]

Jody you need to write a a book or three. I love to read your blog.
You have an amazing way of expressing things that make them real.
When you describe something or tell a story, I can picture it in my mind.
Thank you for bringing some wonderful memories to me.

[Jane Gelbard]

A rose by any other name still smells as sweet and
A Jody by any other name still is just as hilarious!!
xoxo

[Steph B]

You certainly have a lot of names you're referred to! Love it! Especially how you fully admit to other drivers giving you the finger! Haha! Those Derksaces.

[First Day of My Life]

Very cute post - love it :)

Happy Tuesday! ox