Awkward...

I just bought $30 worth of stuff that I don’t need from a fundraiser.

I bought the stuff because I was in the middle of a super-awkward situation.

It was awkward because I answered the door in my jammies…and found two of my students standing there.

I was in my jammies at 8:30 because I had to beat the kids to the shower if I wanted any hot water.

The kids were racing to the shower because they were sweaty and disgusting.

They were sweaty and disgusting because they had been running around like crazy lunatics all day.

I was sweaty and disgusting because I had been running around like a crazy lunatic with them (or at least FOR them).

Right before I got in the shower, I’d been at the mall.

We were at the mall at 8:00pm on a school night because my 12-Year-Old had just announced that his football cleats were too small and he needed new ones for practice…tomorrow.

He told me this at 7:30pm because we were just picking his sister up from soccer and the cleats reminded him.

We were picking her up from soccer at 7:30 because we were late.

We were late because we went out to dinner.

We went out to dinner because I raced around like a crazy lunatic all afternoon and I didn’t have four seconds to pee, forget about make dinner.

We were late to dinner because the soccer coach was late so I spent 20 minutes in the soccer field parking lot with Bill’s ex wife.

I was with Bill’s ex-wife because our kids play on the same soccer team.

They play on the same team because otherwise this would be insane. Oh wait. It already is.

Before soccer, I was all the way on the other side of town waiting to pick up Sam from football.

I was waiting because he forgot to text me and tell me the right time and I was worried about being that-mom-who-always-picks-her-kid-up-late.

He forgot to text me because ADD is hereditary.

Before racing to the football field so I could wait for 30 minutes, I was zooming through the McDonald’s Drive-Through.

I was zooming through the McDonald’s drive through because I realized I had only 10 minutes to feed Hannah before picking up her brother and then taking Hannah to soccer practice.

I only had 10 minutes because we had to run home and get her cleats and soccer shorts from the house and while we were there the stupid dogs got out and we had to chase them and put them back in.

The dogs got out because we were hurrying.

We were hurrying because I had been late to pick her up from her friends’ house so we needed to get her soccer stuff quickly.

I was late to pick her up from her friend’s house because my doctor’s appointment ran over.

My doctor’s appointment ran over because the doctor was punishing me for being late to his office in the first place.

I was late to his office in the first place because…. Need I really go on?

This is ridiculous. Work is like a vacation on a tropical island compared to the 6 hours between the last bell and when the kids go to bed.