I wonder if I am the only person at the county fair comparing the Demolition Derby to an afternoon in my home? If you have even one child and are lucky enough to be home between the hours of 4 and 6pm, you know what I am talking about. I remember when my kids were tiny and my mommy group referred to that time period as “the witching hour.” We are way beyond THAT over here. We have two hours of full-fledged demolition here every day.
School has started again and I need to remind myself that, in addition to corralling 6 out of control children, two dogs and four freakin’ hamsters, I am also in charge of the English language skills of 72 sixth graders. To that end, I considered composing a “compare and contrast essay” focused on the similarities and differences between my home in the late afternoon…and the demolition derby. But, since I have just doubled the number of things expected of me in a day, all you get is a list. If I was a science teacher, you maybe could’ve gotten a Venn diagram out of me, but I’m not, so you’re stuck with a list.
Similarities Between 4-6pm at Our House and The Demolition Derby:
-They put a bunch of cranky cars in a pit, pad the walls and see how many come out.
-We do the same thing with the kids, except we call the pit, “Playroom.”
-The cars in the Derby take a hit and keep on goin’, even when the engine starts smoking and the tires pop.
-Our children seem to be unstoppable as well, refusing to sit down, or shut up for two hours.
-People pay good money to watch the Demolition Derby.
-I believe that if I charged admission, this would be a pretty good show too. In fact, I’m fairly certain if TLC made us into a TV show we could take the place of the cancelled Kate Plus 8.
-At the Demolition Derby, snacks for kids and alcoholic beverages for adults are recommended.
-In our home during the late afternoon, snacks are used as currency and alcoholic beverages are required.
-There is strategy to the Derby – sometimes two or more cars gang up on another one and smash it until it dies.
-Often two or more children gang up on one parent and harass us until we give in and turn on the television/make cookies/buy things.
-Gabby can fall asleep in the middle of either one.
-They are both really, really, really loud.
-I can’t wait for either one to be over.
Differences:
-At the Demolition Derby, someone else is in charge of cleaning the whole mess up.
-Not here.
Copyright © Jody Hoffman 2011
Someone's microwaving a piece of marshmallow at the Demolition derby, LOL. It's normal for children to be naughty. Just try to talk to them in a nice way, or maybe give them a chocolate or two. That might solve the problem.
Posted by: Megan Payne | 02/04/2012 at 04:25 PM
I follow you VIA GFC and I love your blog!
Posted by: Timberland Footwear | 11/27/2011 at 04:22 AM
LOL! The hours of 4-6 pm are what I like to call "crazy time" in my house. The kids are hungry, and they're tired of looking at me all day long. They whine, they ask for snacks, and most tantrums are thrown during these hours. My response? TV. Electronic babysitter, any one?
Posted by: Angela@BeggingTheAnswer | 09/11/2011 at 05:57 AM
I love this post!!!
Posted by: What Now???? | 09/10/2011 at 04:24 PM