My children have been at their father’s house for 22 days. I had to take out the calendar to count that up. I originally wrote down 39 days. It feels like they have been gone for a million years. This is the longest I’ve ever been away from them. Bill’s kids have a wonderful new summer plan that involves a week here, and then a week at their mom’s house. They are all doing great, but there is an awful lot of time with no kids around.
I miss them.
When I don’t need 2-dozen eggs to make breakfast in the morning, I miss them.
When there’s no one to tuck into bed, I miss them.
When I walk in the door and don’t trip over their sneakers, I miss them.
When we go out on the boat, and no one is shrieking, I miss them.
When I can watch any channel of TV I want and spend an entire day without ever hearing the Phinneaus and Pherb theme song, I (still hear it in my head, and) I miss them.
When Bill and I sit alone at our humoungous dining room table, I miss them. (Who am I kidding? I barely cook even when the kids ARE here! We go out…or occasionally eat cereal at midnight…)
When it is 9am on a Saturday morning and I am still in bed because no one woke me up yet yelling about their brother smacking them or how their sister stole their gameboy… Okay, I don’t miss them ALL the time.
I deal with missing them by shopping (occasionally even for them), scrapbooking photos from the past year and by calling them. I don’t know if you have ever tried to carry-on daily phone conversations with your preteens, but it has roughly the same entertainment value as watching paint dry. Beige paint. Here is a sample conversation:
Sam: Hello?
Me: Hi!
Sam: Who is this?
Me: It’s your mother.
Sam: Oh. [pause] Hi mom.
Me: What are you doing?
Sam: Watching TV.
Me: Oh, what are you watching?
Sam:…………
Me: Do you think maybe you could turn off the TV and talk to me for a minute?
Sam:…………
Me: SAM!
Sam: What?!
Me: Turn off the TV.
Sam: [pretends to turn off the TV, but knows I can’t see him] Ok
Me: So, what did you do today?
Sam: Watched TV/Watched a movie/Played video games
Me: Oh! That sounds fun, what are you doing tomorrow?
Sam: Same answer
Me: Anything else you want to tell me?
Sam: Nope
Me: Nothing?
Sam: Oh! Well…Daddy bought us a cat!/Let me dye my hair!/Saved me when I almost drowned waterskiing!/Had to come get me when I wiped out my bike and was bleeding everywhere!/Is taking us to a waterpark!/Showed me how to light fireworks!
Me: [Thinks: Oh Crap./Is it permanent?/Glad I’m hearing this after!/Were you wearing your helmet?/Be safe!/WHAT?!?!] Says: Wow! That sounds fun/interesting/scary/painful/exciting/WHAT?!?
Sam:…….
Me: Watching TV again?
Sam:……..
Me: Okay, Bud, Love you! Miss you! Can I talk to your sisters?
Sam: Uh…yeah, Mom…you too….Here you go.
And then, I have the esteemed pleasure of having the Exact.Same.Conversation again. Two more times. I love to hear their voices, and the neurotic mommy in me just needs to make sure they’re okay once a day, but the actual phone conversations leave a bit to be desired.
This makes me pause for a moment to consider my own telephone conversations with my parents, who are also 2,000 miles away. Do I give them my full attention? Do I listen and respond to each piece of advice and information they offer? What is that shiny object over there on the counter? Is that the theme song for Big Brother I hear on the TV? Hmm…Perhaps this is all genetic.
So how in the world am I going to survive another four more weeks of this? I’m working on a list of possible activities to distract me from the fact that my kids are still gone. And we’re not even half done. Here’s the list so far. I’m accepting suggestions…
1. Redecorate the kitchen, bedroom, living room…
2. Write a book.
3. Learn how to cook 75 gourmet meals that the kids will actually eat.
4. Learn how to cook 75 gourmet meals that Bill will eat and buy a lot of chicken nuggets.
5. Just buy chicken nuggets.
6. Organize all the closets and get rid of stuff that doesn’t fit the kids anymore.
7. Buy new stuff to replace it!
8. Catch up on scrapbooking, reading, sleeping, exercising.
9. Learn to knit.
10. Learn how to remove tags from purchased items so it looks like I knit them.
11. Convince Bill we should have another baby.
12. Research cars that seat 9.
13. Peel Bill off the ceiling.
14. Apply for my Phd.
15. Write lesson plans for the first month of school.
16. Give the dogs a bath.
17. Clean the oven so it doesn’t set off the fire alarm every time I use it.
18. Or: Come up with dinner plans that don’t necessitate using the oven.
19. Become increasingly obsessed with TV’s Big Brother. Talk to Bill about the players as if they are my friends.
20. Harass people to go vote for the blog at Top Mommy Blogs until everyone hates me and/or I am number 1.
21. Consider whether the new individually sized frozen drink pouches, Daily’s, are so named because that is their creator’s last name, or because you are supposed to drink them every day.
22. Go with the second – they are delicious.
23. Learn how to use Linky to make a blog hop - DONE! Give me your suggestion as to what should be on my Distraction To-Do List for the summer, and link up your blog!
The Blended Distraction To-Do List Blog Hop
RULES: Please follow Blended, and leave me a comment. Then add your answer and blog link to the Linky. Follow as many of the other blogs as you can and don't forget to leave a comment. Let them know you are a follower from the Blended Distraction Blog Hop!
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