Blended

A Stocking Full

Besides the fact that we move holidays around until they fit our schedule, our family also does some other things that are less-than traditional during the month of December. Like cook latkes while listening to Christmas music. Or play a lively game of dreidel after enjoying a Christmas dinner of ham… Here’ our weekend: Since our kids will all be with their other parents on Christmas (and therefore the second half of Hanukah) this year, we started celebrating while most people were still working off their Thanksgiving dinner. After all, in order to pull off the presentpalooza that we call December each year, we need a little extra time!

We have certain traditions that we are trying to establish with our blended family. On Christmas Eve, for example, all six kids receive a pair of matching pajamas. This is mostly so that we have gorgeous matching photos for our scrapbook, but also just puts everyone in a festive (and tired?!?) mood. We have a new tradition for this year – I inherited my grandmother’s nutcracker collection a few years ago and the children have loved laying them all out on the mantel each year. This year we all decided it would be fun to add to the collection each year with a themed nutcracker from something we did in the past year.  Hanukah, of course, has its own traditions, one of them being that on the fourth night, everyone opens new clothes as their gift.

All of this collided nicely last Friday night when it was both our fourth night of Hanukah as well as our Christmas Eve. It was a wonderfully ridiculous combination of traditions and religions. First we lit the candles on our menorah in the dining room on our Hanukah-themed tablecloth with dreidels hanging from our chandelier.

Then we moved to the kitchen where we had prepared our traditional Christmas Eve dinner, “Try-not-to-set-anyone-on-fire,” or “Fondue” as it is known to the general public. Brianna pointed out that because we were cooking the meat in oil, this “totally counts as a Hanukah dinner too.” Yup, it does.

After fondue, we went back to the dining room and the children opened their fourth-night (clothes night!) Hanukah gift. It was, of course, Christmas Pajamas! Just go with it.

They donned their Christmas apparel and reconvened in the kitchen for the red and green chocolate fondue dessert and then we headed to the living room for gifts. To commemorate our New York City Trip from last January, we gave them a New York, New York Nutcracker, complete with an Empire State Building replica as well as a Broadway ticket. They loved it, and gave him a place of honor over the fireplace, between the Swedish Chef Nutcracker and the Red Sox Championship Nutcracker.

The next morning was, well, nighttime. At 3am, they started knocking on the door, wondering when we could go downstairs. By 4am they were using the dogs as an excuse saying that Alice and Brady just HAD to go out right now. At 6am we gave in and stumbled down the stairs, pausing just long enough to hit the start button on the coffee pot before we arrived in the living room packed with gifts from Santa.

We had a lovely day together as a family, trying out all of their new toys and picking wrapping paper out of every nook and cranny of our home. That evening, we lit the candles again for the fifth night of Hanukah – and then had a lovely ham dinner for Christmas.

The fifth night of Hanukah is game night, so we spent the rest of the evening playing Jenga, Cooties, Beat the Parents, and – of course- dreidel (which, I’m fairly certain, they only put up with because it ends in chocolate).

The next morning we prepared for a Hanukah party at our home. We fried latkes and made homemade donuts for our friends. We had been channeling Christmas music through Pandora all weekend so I decided to try the Hanukah station instead for a change. After about 30 minutes, I realized that Pandora thinks that all Jewish people are deaf and boring, so we switched back and I merrily sang Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree while flipping latkes and rolling donuts in powdered sugar. I will also admit to decorating with Hanukah confetti while whistling Justin Beiber’s Mistletoe – What’s “Ima Bee?” I will never know. But Gabriella thinks he is her boyfriend, so we put up with him.

Last night after candles for the seventh night, (and no presents because on the seventh night we give presents to someone from the angel tree in the mall – a tradition inspired by my parents) we went to the local nursing home. The children’s piano teacher met us there and helped the children pick out Jingle Bells, We Three Kings and Silent Night on the piano for the residents. Afterword, we picked up eggnog milk shakes and drove around to look at the Christmas lights.

Tonight we’ll light the candles for the eighth night as most people are lighting their first, and on Thursday we’ll send our kids away to spend the rest of the holidays with their other families. Hopefully, after living through our mixed-up, jumbled, chaotic, intermingled-interfaith presentpalooza, our kiddos will not just walk away with electronics and full tummies, but also an appreciation of the traditions of their siblings…and of course, a big ole’ stocking full of love – enough to last until New Year’s when we get them all back!

Present Palooza

Our family blends the best of many worlds, and it is never more clear than during the month of December.  Emily and Hannah have a birthday in December.  This month they will turn 10 at an ice skating birthday party.  We also celebrate Hannukah, still new to Brianna, Gabby and Levi, during this month.  In addition, we have already established traditions for Christmas Eve and Santa will visit Christmas morning.  Just as you’re starting to think this is sounding a little insane, get this – this year, since all of our children are going to their other parents’ this holiday, we have to put this whole extravaganza of celebration on the fast track – and be finished with all of it by December 17!  Present Palooza.

 

Here’s how we’re rolling:  First of all, as I write this, it is November 25, Black Friday, and all of my holiday gifts are purchased, wrapped, and if necessary, shipped.  We have devoted an entire guest room to presents – 8 nights + 2 birthdays + Christmas x 6 = I.N.S.A.N.I.T.Y.   I used a different wrapping paper for each night and each event so that I’d have a chance of figuring out what goes to whom and when…

 

This, of course, was successfully completed through the use of a complicated, color-coded Excel spreadsheet with dates, costs and wish lists. Go ahead, make fun of my ridiculous organizational strategies, but I bet you’re not done with all of YOUR shopping, now are you?

 

The lists themselves were a bit on the crazy side, ranging from requests from Sam for billion dollar electronics to Brianna’s wish-list item: a fleece blanket…made by Me.  Oh, okay.  Because I totally know how to do that.  Thank goodness for the fabric department lady at Hobby Lobby!  (I did it.  But, by accident, I have created a blanket that I’m fairly certain will cover her and 10 of her closest friends.  But it’s got peace signs on it, so I think it will be ok.)

 

My husband “cheerfully” tagged along on all of my shopping trips (at least the one’s he knows about) and even took me to the “big city” for a weekend to find the things I couldn’t get in my small town or order online.  That is if by “cheerfully” we mean “frowns as he hands over the credit cards, but doesn’t actually complain out loud,” and if by “big city” we mean “a town with more than 3 stores in the mall and an Olive Garden.”

 

So how are we going to control the extra chaos of Present Palooza this year? Don’t fret, I have a plan.

 

Birthday Plan:

The girls are having a party NOT in my home.  Because who are we kidding?  I can often pull off a pretty good home birthday party, but not when I have to celebrate 87 holidays in 12 minutes.  In a blessed turn of events, the ice skating rink was open on the right day and in an even more blessed turn of events, the girls want cupcakes instead of their usual three-tired monstrosity of a cake.  One gift each, invitations printed from the computer and a pre-season Gap sale on fleece scarves (plus a 50% off coupon) for party favors.  Add hot chocolate and some festive winter-themed plates – Ta dah!  Birthday for two.  Check.

 

Hannukah is a tad bit more complicated, because of the length, but also because the schedule we’ve had to work out has Hannukah and Christmas overlapping… 

 

So: Hannukah Night 1 – The “Big” present.  Something they really want, but not the big surprise – you know the one Mommy and Daddy said “no” to but is probably coming later?  Not that one.  (That one we save for Santa so we don’t have to over-rule ourselves.) This night is also the first appearance of Latkes, dreidles and homemade donuts.

 

Hannukah Night 2 – Giving to Each other.  The kids made stained glass dreidels, menorahs, cats, planets and, in one case, shoes and then “wrapped” them to give to each other on night 2.  They also sent these crafts to aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents in other parts of the country.  You’re welcome family.  I know what you have always wanted is a see-through green cat to hang in your window.  And yes, I am fairly certain that the children will be asking to see them the next time they visit.

 

Hannukah Night 3 – Family Game Night.  On this night, we add to our growing collection of board games and then play together. 

 

Hannukah Night 4 – Skyping with East Coast Grandparents.  The presents are exchanged through the mail and then we watch each other open gifts and light the candles together!

 

Hannukah Night 5 – Skyping with Manhattan Sister and Uncle New York.  See Hannukah Night 4, but with more screaming.

 

Hannukah Night 6 – Clothes!  The sixth night has always been clothes, but this year it is also going to be our “Christmas Eve.”  So, this year on the sixth night of Hannukah, the kids will open matching Christmas jammies.  Just go with it.

 

Then we skip a night, because it is “Christmas.”  Hopefully Santa will not notice that most of my kids are on the naughty list and they will have a lovely morning opening all the things I already said “no” to.

 

The next night we will have the give-to-others night.  On this night, we light the candles at dinner time, but we don’t open presents.  Instead, we have donated gifts to children from the Angel Tree at the mall.  I’m not sure that the little ones understand anything more than NO PRESENTS?!?!  But the big kids get it.

 

Finally, we’ll wrap up with book night – the last night of Hannukah.  Many of the themed nights of Hannukah stem from traditions from my childhood, and this is no exception.  Everybody gets a book, some snuggling and reading, and most importantly, more homemade donuts.

 

Logistically, we have it all worked out:  Christmas takes place in the living room, because that’s where the tree goes.  Hannukah takes place in the dining room, because Jewish holidays are mostly about eating.

 

We have lights outside, but they’re white (and pink(!) because my husband loves me THAT much) and we play Christmas music because it’s beautiful.  We eat latkes and donuts, but also French fries, because as long as it’s fried in oil, it counts. 

 

I guess what we’ve decided is that it doesn’t matter that some of us are Catholic and some of us are Jewish.  It doesn’t matter that our children will probably be the most spoiled hellions on the block after 9 days and nights of presents plus a birthday party.  It doesn’t matter that we don’t follow every rule exactly right and it doesn’t even matter that we have total disregard for the actual DATE of things (see our Early Thanksgiving Story from mid-November).  The important thing is that we’re all together.  And presents.

 

Merry Everything!

 

 

 

Ring Ring! How Do I Answer this Thing?

When you live away from the people you love, you have to find a way to stay connected to them.  Thankfully, there’s a wonderful invention called Video-Chatting.  I first used this technology when Bill and I were extreme-long-distance dating for a year and a half.  We set up our computers and pretended we were actually next to each other.  We talked for hours, played games and even watched movies together using the computer.

Now it is my parents to whom we need to stay connected.  My parents are mildly-technologically-challenged. 

Example A: My father didn’t have a facebook page until this past summer.  I had to set it up for him against his will because he kept sneaking into my mother’s page and then emailing my sister and me about our posts.  “See?  Now you can just comment right here!” 

“But won’t other people see?!?!” 

“Oh my…”

Example B: Every time we chat my parents struggle to figure out how to make their side of the conversation show up on the screen.  “Find the video button. Mom.” “Push the video button, Dad.”  “Nana!  Pop!  PUSH THE VIDEO BUTTON!”  For goodness sakes, Skype, could you make that button bigger?  And possibly labeled “PUSH THIS?”

The only thing standing in the way of a meaningful conversation with my parents on the computer is that the kids can also see THEMSELVES, a source of constant entertainment.  The children mainly use video chat to make insane noises and to examine their tonsils. I’m not sure why the video screen turns my children into complete lunatics, but for some reason, they feel the need to dance, scream, pretend to be wild animals and stand on their heads.  They rarely actually speak English on Skype, preferring instead to laugh maniacally or babble incoherently. 

We have used the video-chat for more specific things as well.  We often light Shabbat candles together with the aide of the computer screen.  We also open our holiday gifts and sing Happy Birthday and let my parents watch the kids eat cake.  My kids often use video to show my parents their latest art project or school project.  On more than one occasion, my mother has used Skype to give me an apple pie tutorial or talk me through cooking one of her famous dishes.  I use video-chat to ask important questions that need visuals:  Do you think this is chicken pox?  What do you think of this new wallpaper border for the kitchen?  Does this blouse go with these pants?

Lighting the Hannukah Candles with Nana and Pop - Levi trying to decide if we're interesting enough to keep his eyes off the computer.

Nope.

 

My mom also leads a weekly Hebrew School session with the kids.  By moving to South Dakota, we almost doubled the Jewish population in our town and for many of our friends, we are the only Jewish people they know.  Even Bill, Brianna, Gabby and Levi had never met a Jewish person before us.   So, obviously, there is no formal Hebrew School here.  (That is..until I start one.  In my free time.)  My mother, being the Education Director at the temple we left behind in Boston, uses the same lesson plans with Sam, Emily and Hannah that she uses with her students back home. Everything is more fun with Nana and Pop…even Hebrew School.  The video-chatting part helps, and sometimes they even stop looking at themselves long enough to get some work done.

Video-Chatting also provides opportunities for great surprises!  Once we turned it on to find the children’s Great-Grandparents in the picture, and once their aunt!   My parents, in turn, have been surprised by children falling out of chairs, dogs and hamsters being placed on the table in order to be in the picture, and by views of me in the background, gratefully toasting the few minutes of alone time the grandparents have given me.

Now we’re even graduating to the next level of technological advances – we’ve downloaded video-chatting onto our iphones and now Nana and Pop can even watch soccer games! (They’re ever-so-thrilled.)

 

Copyright © Jody Hoffman 2011

 

 

 

 

A Year in Review

We made it.  We aren’t newlyweds anymore.  Our first anniversary was last weekend.  So here’s a recap of the last year:

 

August 2010:

            We woke up married on the first day of August.  After our families left town, we settled in to life of happy - chaos, and went to the grocery store every single day.  We signed the kids up for soccer and started spending every Saturday at the fields.  I started my new job and realized I actually liked teaching sixth grade, even though it was an enormous change from elementary school and some of the kids were taller than I.  I went to my very first county fair, picked up meat from a packing plant (where I was surprised to find an actual cow!) and was introduced to my new country girl life.  It was quite the adjustment!

 

September 2010:

            We took our first family vacation to the Black Hills of South Dakota.   While there, we made our first trip to the emergency room when Levi fell off a picnic bench and bit his tongue in half!  When we returned home, I upped the craziness factor by volunteering to be the Girl Scout leader for the big girls.  At our first event, rollerskating, Emily broke her arm, sending us to the ER for the second time that month.  September also brought my birthday, our first Jewish holiday away from my parents, and Brady, our new Golden Retriever. 

October 2010:

            We finished soccer and started basketball, overlapping for one completely insane Saturday.  We celebrated our first family Halloween. Gabriella decided that she absolutely HAD to be corn.  Corn?!? After scouring every available option for purchase, we ended up making the costume ourselves – and then she won the costume contest at the mall.

 

November 2010:

            In November, my kids went to their dad’s house for our first-ever holiday apart.  Bill’s kids would also spend Thanksgiving with their mom this year.  The Bunch celebrated Thanksgiving early with our new “family,” friends we’d made since moving to South Dakota.  Then, on the real Thanksgiving, Bill and I took our Honeymoon trip to Jamaica!  Five days of rum punch and beach helped ease the pain of being away from our kids on Thanksgiving…

 

December 2010:

            My kids taught Bill’s kids about Hannukah.  Bill’s kids taught my kids about Christmas.  We celebrated the twins’ birthday with a Rock Star Diva Party.  In short, it was present-palooza.  We attended 6 holiday concerts and baked cupcakes for 4 school holiday parties.  We prepared for our first airplane trip!  We planned to take the kids to New York for 5 days to celebrate the New Year with my East Coast Family.  Our trip was delayed by 3 days because of a humungous snowstorm, which increased the ever-growing insanity as we made our way across the country.  We vowed never again to travel in the winter with six kids. 

 

January 2011:

            After giving the kids a whirlwind tour of NYC, we flew home again in time to resume school.  We started ice skating lessons – chaos on ice – and archery.   We got more and more snow and the temperature in our town never once got above zero.  I started collecting scarves and mittens.   The kids stopped thinking that snow was fun.  We couldn’t use our front door for the whole month because the snow covered it.

 

 

February 2011:

            We celebrated our first Valentine’s Day by sharing pink chocolate fondue with all six kids.  We added Volleyball to our list of activities, causing us to have to move to a larger calendar in order to keep track of everyone’s daily events.  Nana and Pop came to visit and we sent the icicle versions of them home a week later. 

 

March 2011:           

            In March we celebrated Gabby’s 5^th birthday with a Cowgirl Birthday Party and Sam’s 11^th with an “I’m-to-cool-for-a-theme” Party that involved pop and Cheetos getting ground into the playroom carpet and several preteen girls on cell phones in our living room.   Bill’s parents surprised us on a day that was both “National No Housework Day” AND “National Beer Day,” which turned out kind of funny.  We took six kids to the circus. March also marked the second time the kids left for a week to visit their dad.  This time there was no Jamaica to distract me and it was just plain hard.  March was also the start of the Girl Scout Cookie Sale, which took over my life for about a month.  We ate more than we sold and I threatened not to be the leader next year unless someone helped.  Bill threatened not to be my husband next year if I tried to do it alone again.  I started blogging and wrote the first chapter of a book.  Bill decided I had officially lost it. 

 

April 2011:

 By April, basketball and ice-skating were over, so we signed the kids up for language classes.  They learned to count to 10 in French, Chinese and Spanish, and that’s about it. We celebrated Passover and Easter as only the Bunch could.  Things started to calm down, or maybe we were just getting used to the chaos.  By the end of the month, it was almost possible to go out of the house without a down parka and insulated ski mask… but it hadn’t stopped snowing yet.  

 

May 2011:

In May, we celebrate Brianna’s 9^th birthday with a Minute-to-Win-It Party, Levi’s 4^th birthday with a race car party, and the last day of school by starting to pack for our summer adventures.   It was weird to end school while it was still sweater-weather outside, but we were happy to have made it through our first year of school in a new place!

 

June 2011:

 We took another family vacation – this time to stay at my parents’ house in Massachusetts for a month!  The kids had lots of adventures and spent some quality time with Nana and Pop. We went to the Mayflower, Fenway Park, The Science Museum, Cape Cod, The New England Aquarium, Codzilla and the Swan Boats.  We coined the term: “You Got Blended,” and used it frequently.  I put my three children on a plane with their father and said good-bye for the rest of the summer, before flying back home with Bill and his three. 

 

July 2011:

Bill and I spent quality time with his kids who now have a wonderful week on/week off schedule between our house and their mom’s.  We were able to take trips back and forth to all sorts of very exciting places – like Broadus, Montana, and Riverton, Wyoming.  We put 10,000 miles on my car and saw 10,000,000 cows, and not much else.  We came back home to spend our first anniversary together in our own home.  With no kids, we had a lot of free time that day and came up with the following numbers to describe our first unbelievable year as a family.

 

This Year In Numbers:

 

-Miles we put on my Honda Pilot:  18,000

 

-Towns we drove through with population less than 1000: 74

 

-Emergency room visits: 5

 

*Facebook - 5 hours in the urgent care, one Payless-Zebra-print-high-heele​d-wearing-googling Nurse and a great big giant shot later and Hannah's infection is under control. Just a disclaimer: I have nothing against Payless OR Zebra print high-heels. Neither, however, inspired confidence this afternoon...

 

Times I’ve embarrassed myself in front of the neighbors: 3 (that I know of)

 

Photographs I’ve taken: 9,000

 

Photographs I’ve scrapbooked: 9

 

Times I’ve said, “Shhhh”: 8,947,216

 

Times I’ve glared at strangers for saying, “Shhhhh” to my kids:  298

 

Dates: 15

 

Family Vacations: 3

 

Vacations alone with Bill: 1

 

States we’ve visited: 9

 

Foreign Countries visited: 1

 

Family Sick Days: 22

 

Times we actually got dinner on the table by 5:00: 46

Birthday Parties: 6

Sporting events we’ve watched:  321

Number of gates at our airport: 1

 

Number of times I’ve walked through that gate: 8

 

Visits from the tooth fairy: 16

 

Gallons of milk: 300

 

Cartons of eggs: 64

 

Grocery Store Trips: 104

 

Chances we would trade any of it for the world: 0

 

Copyright © Jody Hoffman 2011

 

 

 

 

The Fifth Question: Why Can't we Light the Paper Frogs on Fire?

Welcome to the continuation of the Special Holiday Edition of Blended!  That means 4 posts in 4 days!  Two regular posts: Wednesday and Saturday, and two special holiday posts: Easter yesterday, and Passover today.  Don't expect this next week...soccer season starts tomorrow!  Happy Reading...

 

*Facebook 4/18/11 - Seder highlights: Emily and Hannah singing the four questions, Brianna - “Hey! This prayer ends differently than the regular one.”  Bill – “fish meatball?!?!”

Passover* Seders* at my mom’s house in Boston were not what you’d call “traditional.”  We had 10-Plague* finger puppets, tablecloths you could write on and, one year, a contest involving jumping paper frogs* through the candles and landing in wine glasses.  This year that Seder happened 2,000 miles away, without me.  I was a little too busy (really?) to plan my own Seder, so I took my children, Bill and Brianna to the Seder at our small, conservative synagogue.

I prepped the kids ahead of time: Among other things, no paper frogs will be lit on fire here…  Brianna, who had been studying Passover in her religion classes at Catholic school, was confused – “We never heard anything about THAT!”  I explained the Passover story and holiday to Brianna, and listed which parts of Nana’s Seder would also be included in a conservative one.

My mom ordered us some Matzah* online.  (You can’t buy that here.) I bribed Sam to wear a nice shirt and dress pants (“We always get to wear jeans to Nana’s!) and reminded Emily and Hannah about using their best manners. (Nana doesn’t care!) At the Seder, there is a very specific order to things. I started to explain the all rules and organizational system to Bill and Brianna, but finally settled on one simple direction: “Don’t eat anything ‘til I eat it.”  We were ready.

On the way to the Seder, Brianna peppered me with questions. 

“What will we eat for dinner?” –Oh just you wait. 

“When we will eat dinner?” –Depending on how thorough we are…somewhere between 1 and 4 hours.

“Did you know that that baby in the basket was almost eaten by alligators before he got to the princess?” –Sounds like you were watching the Hollywood version of this story… 

“What’s Matzah?”

“Why’s it flat?”

“Will they have grape juice instead of wine?” 

“Is it okay if I say that we celebrated Easter yesterday?”

Well, we certainly don’t have the “Child-Who-is-too-Shy-to-Ask”* here.

 

The Seder turned out to be different, but fun.  The kids had a great time meeting other families and we even met a couple in a similar situation to ours (minus the six kids).  She had recently moved from Manhattan to live on a farm with her South Dakota boyfriend.  He asked if he could follow my “don’t eat ‘til I eat” rule, too. 

Brianna asked to sit next to me “so I can be sure I see what you’re doing.” As we said the blessings for wine, candles, matzah, Brianna suddenly turned to me with a lightbulb-face.  “Hey!” she whispered, “these prayers are just like Shabbat prayers, but with something else at the end!  I can do them!”  And she sang along.  I guess when we light candles on Friday night before dinner, everyone really IS paying attention!

Emily and Hannah had prepared for their role as the youngest children at the Seder: singing the Four Questions.* They had practiced for hours with Nana, using Skype.  When their turn came up, they sang beautifully, much to the amazement of the others in attendance.  Brianna, who often sits in on these practice sessions, even hummed along and knew a few of the words.

I think Bill enjoyed himself at the Seder.  He and the other guy with the East Coast City Girl girlfriend had LOTS to talk about, and he is always a fan of trying new foods.  He loved the matzah-meal popovers and charoset* but gave me the strangest look after putting the first piece of Gefilte Fish* in his mouth.  “What am I eating?” he asked accusingly.  I tried to explain the ingredients and the process through which Gelfilte Fish is made… “You just made me eat a COLD FISH MEATBALL?” 

Oy Vey.  Next year, I think I’m importing Nana for Passover instead of just the matzah.

 

Passover - to - English Dictionary:

*Passover: Jewish Holiday celebrated in the spring to remember the Israelites’ escape from Egypt.

*Seder: The dinner and service for Passover.  Seder means order and the celebration is very specifically ordered.  Most things are blessed before they are eaten and there are many traditions to follow.  Also can be very, very, very long.

*10-Plagues: 10 bad things brought down on the Egyptians in order to convince the Pharoah~ to set the Israelites free. (~Pharoah: Wishy Washy Egyptian King)

*Frogs: Often a focal point of Seders because they are way less gross than the rest of the plagues.

*Matzah: Flat, cardboard-like cracker made to resemble the bread cooked without rising in the Israelites hurry to leave Egypt.  Also, supposed to make us suffer.

*The Child Who is Too Shy To Ask: During the Seder, we discuss different types of children who may be attending our Seder and how to respond to each of their questions.  This is one type that Brianna is NOT.

*The Four Questions: traditionally sung by the youngest children in attendance, the four questions focus on what makes this night different from all other nights.  They are sung in Hebrew, and are the source of terror for many young children.

*Charoset: mixture of apples, nuts and wine, made to remind us of the mortar used by Israelites to build pyramids.  Also has wine to distract from the Matzah…

*Gefilte Fish: Bill’s description is pretty much dead-on.

 

© Jody Hoffman 2011

Easter Eggstravaganza

Welcome to the Special Holiday Edition of Blended!  That means 4 posts in 4 days!  Two regular posts: Wednesday and Saturday, and two special holiday posts: Easter today, and Passover tomorrow.  Clearly, soccer season hasn't started yet.  Happy Reading...

 

*Facebook 4/13/11 - In our house, the Easter Bunny comes a week early and brunch is at 9am.

 

We are not above moving holidays to suit our schedule.  Last year we had Thanksgiving on the second Thursday instead of the third.  We often celebrate birthdays early, late, several times…whatever works for us.  First we find a weekend when all six kids will be home.  Then we pick a day that doesn’t have any baseball, soccer, volleyball, basketball, archery or Girl Scout events.  Then we wait to see if everyone is healthy with all bones intact.   Then we check the weather to be sure that no snow storms, hail or flooding would impede our festivities. At that point, when we feel fairly certain that a day will work, we make sure it is within 6 weeks of the actual event we’re trying to celebrate and then write it on the calendar.  In pencil.

 

When we realized that we had all six kids and no sporting events the weekend before Easter this year, we figured we had a good chance of success.  As the date approached, we had no broken limbs and only one kid had strep. (Why do we always have strep?)  The impending snowstorm that was forecast would move our egg hunt indoors, but it seemed that we would be looking at snow until July, so that didn’t sway us.  The biggest selling point: celebrating Easter a week early meant not having to search for Kosher-for-Passover Easter Candy.  Done.

 

Bill and I bought most of the Easter section at the store.  The customer behind us in line questioned whether we were running a daycare or some sort of event.  This was not the first time I’ve been asked this question in line at the grocery store, so I replied, “No, we just REALLY like jelly beans.”

 

After arriving home the day before our Easter and sneaking the Easter Bunny-loot upstairs, I sent Bill to the store to buy the egg-coloring supplies we had forgotten.  As a non-egg-coloring-Jew, I was new to this activity and couldn’t understand why he had come home with a huge tarp-like plastic tablecloth in addition to the dye, egg dippers and cups.  I learned quickly.

 

I read the directions for egg-coloring:

1. Fill the plastic cup with water and vinegar.

2. Add the dye tab and stir.

3. Gently dip your hard-boiled egg into the water using the egg dipper.

4. Wait patiently.

5. Gently lift the egg out and carefully place it someplace safe to dry.

 

Dye? Gently? Patiently? I felt concerned.

 

Brianna, the egg-coloring expert was excited to initiate my children into the egg-coloring club.  Together, they dipped and dyed and even managed to create some multi-colored eggs.  They were gentle, patient and careful.  Bill worked with Levi and managed to keep things fairly neat and create some fun looking eggs.  I was in charge of Gabby.  Who dyes eggs with her hands.  And spills.  And doesn’t understand “patient” or “gentle.” 

 

Thanks for the tarp, Bill. 

Coloring eggs. Yup, those are Shabbat candles in the background

Immediately following the egg-coloring came the egg-eating portion of our holiday.  My kids had never loved hard-boiled eggs before, but somehow the fact that they were decorated made them exciting.  They were very disappointed, however, to discover that inside the fancy colored shell, there was a plain old boring white egg.   They devoured eggs until I cut them off for fear of stomach aches.  Our table was covered with shells and also yolks, (collectively deemed disgusting and uneatable).

 

            Egg heads                      Gabby fighting with the egg shell                    Leftovers

 

That night, we stayed up late filling baskets.   Actually, I separated, divided and loaded baskets with candy-filled eggs, stuffed bunnies and treats.  Bill ate jelly beans and cheered me on.   “Looks great, Babe.” 

 

 

In the morning, the kids engaged their traditional Holiday Morning Routine: waking each other up at 6am and then screaming and running around the house until we stumble out of bed.

  I I don’t wanna hear another peep outta you.

 

By the time we got downstairs, the kids were halfway through their candy-filled Easter baskets, and were joyfully watching the dogs find (and eat) all of the plastic Easter eggs we had hidden throughout the house.  We kenneled the dogs, and sent the kids running through the house to find what was left of the hidden eggs.

 

 

As the kids worked off their sugar-highs by jumping on the beds, we made brunch.  If you wake up at 6 am, then 9am really IS halfway between breakfast and lunch, so we just rolled with it.  Since it was our first Easter together we decided we could invent our own traditional feast.  So, we ate mini pigs in blankets, deviled eggs (called double eggs by everyone under 10 in this house and served on my grandmother’s special egg plate), popcorn chicken, cupcakes, cinnamon rolls…and bagels with cream cheese.  I know, I know, we are celebrating Easter here, but for the Jewish people, in my family anyway, brunch = bagels.  Besides, around here we just make what we think they will eat.

 

So our first family Easter was a success.  Here’s to flexibility, the dogs’ stomachs tolerating all the candy, starting new traditions, Spring (someday soon we hope) and a husband who understands the appropriate time and place for tarp-like table coverings.

 

© Jody Hoffman 2011

 

The Ash Wednesday Chicken Dinner Story

*Facebook 3/9 Who is that public-school mom screwing up the Catholic school pick up line AGAIN?!?! Oh, that's me. Sorry, folks-I'm new.

One of the most challenging parts of moving to South Dakota from my suburban Boston hometown has been coming to terms with a new way of practicing our religion.  In Boston, I was the youth group leader, Bar/Bat Mitzvah tutor and Hebrew Reading Specialist.  My kids went to Hebrew school once a week at the school where my mother is the Education Director. We were IN-volved.  My kids opened the ark at High Holiday services… Here, there are very few Jews and, though we are trying to be involved here as well, we are so busy and there aren’t any other kids!  Our family life is different too.  Bill’s kids participate in our Friday night Shabbat dinners and even know some of the prayers.  In exchange, Brianna has been sharing her Catholic School education with me, usually right after each holiday occurs.  Jesus hangs in our kitchen, a mezuzah hangs on our door.  We lit candles on Hannukah and drank hot chocolate under our tree on Christmas.  We’re blended, so that means all the ingredients count.   We have had several wonderful successes:

*Facebook 12/5 Happiness is a guy that understands what the "clothes" night of Hannukah means.... (We “themed” the nights of Hannukah so as to contain the presentpalooza that is the month of December in our home.  The fourth night is clothes night.  This year, Bill gave me Pink Sweater Uggs!)

*Facebook 12/25 As we walked into Christmas Mass tonight, all 8 of us, someone commented, "what a lovely family...all dressed in plaid!". If there's something we Jews know, it's how to dress for church.

And some interesting challenges:

*Facebook 1/3 They don't have Hannukah scrapbooking stickers in South Dakota. Just so you know

We were about to have another one of those challenges:

As you know, trying to make homecoming perfect for Bill is one of my “things.”  Last week was a complete and utter disaster, so this week I was determined to get it right.  It hadn’t been our weekend with Bill’s kids, so the first time I had everybody together again after the Oh $#!% Dinner of last Thursday was this Wednesday, March 9. 

I planned dinner the night before and made sure I had everything defrosting.  I was making something I knew everyone would eat.  I picked everyone up, brought them home, neatened and straightened and turned on the TV to settle everyone because I’m not perfect.  Then I made chicken strips 3 ways, plain (for the littles) Honey BBQ (for the bigs and for me) and Buffalo Hot Sauce (for Bill, although everytime we do this one of the kids insists on trying them and then drinking a gallon of milk while steam comes out of his or her ears).

When Bill walked in at 5:05, the table was set, the kids were sitting, the dogs were fed, accounted for and quiet and dinner was ready!  I noticed something interesting on Bill’s forehead, but didn’t mention it because I was so excited about my dinner success.

Bill walked into the dining room and surveyed my masterpiece.  Then Brianna piped up, “Um, Jody? It’s Ash Wednesday.  That’s the day we don’t eat meat.” 

Oh. 

Perhaps Brianna and I could work on learning about each holiday the day BEFORE, instead of the day after from now on… and I think I’m giving up 5:00 dinners for Lent.

 

© Jody Hoffman 2011